"Welcome to Monday night DreadBall, I'm Jennis Hillsworthy."
"And I'm Seb Stephenson."
"And you join us now as the inaugural game of the season is about to start. I can see the Chargers forming two castles near the centre line, and the Hammers taking up a defensive posture, guarding those bonus hexes. Looks like they expect an early attack...and here comes the ball!"
"Lets play DreadBall! And one of the Z'zor Jacks is quick off the mark - I can't believe it, he's going to slam the Nameless Big Guard!"
"A brave move, but unbelievably he's actually pushed the huge guy back out of the way, and his striker is there to pick up the ball from right against the wall - he's dropped it...wait! The ball has bounced off the wall and straight into his claw!"
"Was that a deliberate piece of showboating? Either way, he is heading into the Hammer's back field at a frightening pace."
"Here comes the Big Guard for the Hammers, and it is a devastating slam. He'll be off the field for some time, and the crowd love it."
"This is what they come to see, Jen. But the Hammers have the ball now, they're heading for the near strike zone, here goes the throw...and it's good. One point to the Hammers and they're off to a modest start. Jen, in your days with the Sylphs you played against both a Nameless team and a Z'zor team, what is it actually like to be on the pitch with those things?"
"Freaking weird, Sebastian, and I'd thank you not to bring that subject up again if you don't mind."
"...OK...wait, here comes the big Z'zor Guard, Z'zod. His Jacks are swarming the Nameless striker like..well, ants...they're grappling him, and it's going to be a big slam...ohh! That's not pretty."
"Mind you he wasn't all that pretty even when he still had all four arms attached."
"And the Chargers have left their deep strike zone completely undefended and don't even seem to know where the ball is...and without a trace of mourning for his deceased teammate, the Hammer's number 4 is going for the bonus strike...and it's five points to the Hammers!"
"The ball comes out, and Z'zod looks like he's continuing his rampage...yes, another striker off the pitch. The Charger's fans are going wild, and one suspects they have a new favourite."
"But if they don't score some points soon it'll be all for nothing, as the one remaining Hammers striker goes for the ball...and spills it.!"
"And it goes straight to Zephyr, the star striker for the Chargers, and he's in for one point."
"Makes it look easy...a promising player."
"Here comes the ball for Rush ten, and the Hammer's striker picks up. Beats Z'zod and goes for the deep zone! The fans think it's all over...it is now. A consumate landslide victory for Hastur's Hammers, and they've deserved it."
"Well they've concentrated on making strikes, and not on big slams, whilst the Chargers have been very much playing to the crowd. I've just heard that Zephyr, their striker, has been named Man of the Match."
"And...yes, we have news of the unfortunate Nameless striker. It seems he has been put back together with no ill effects whatsoever."
"That's one lucky lobster, Jennis. Stay tuned folks, the next fixture is up in just a moment - Speedy Draconians vs Vermintide Tornadoes."
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